SKOOL!

They gots new yoony forms out tha skool housk in New Baggage. We's goner wears 'em fer a classk photygrafk, and me pal DreddsPyrickBobs has declareded hisselfk as head o' tha skool. An on account that, we kin wears any hats we wants an smokerin is allowered.

Tha Candies Fack'ry

I was walkerin abouk New Baggage tha otha day an I notisked a sweetishk smell comin from tha ol' burnded down fack'ry, so' I wenks bie ter takes a looks. Tha placek wuz all board upk but I finded me a knots hole ta peers me peeper thru...

Poopdeck Halfpint peers through a knot hole in the boards and sees the big fat chef inside

Enrico Nom: Well, dat's comin' along, dat is. Dem candies is shootin' out just like dey should.
Poopdeck Halfpint gazes in awe through the knot hole
Enrico Nom: Ain't gonner be too long before dey's ready for dat circus guy.
Poopdeck: Ahoys misker! >Poopdeck hollers through the knot hole<
Enrico Nom: Hey yas. We ain't open yet.
Poopdeck: I's jusk watchin' misker
Poopdeck: Dont means no harms
Enrico Nom: Well, dat's okay, I guess. All da secret ingredients is secreted.
Poopdeck: I doesink eats muchk candies anyhows
Poopdeck: I eats steaks an veggibles
Enrico Nom: Well, dat's good for yer, I guess. Ain't too good fer our business, though.
Enrico Nom: laughs
Poopdeck: Aye, well I didinks sez I doesink eats 'em at all.. jusk that I doesink eats 'em muchk.
Enrico Nom: Yeah, we got all dis fine machinery straight from Italy, where me an me bruddahs is from.
Poopdeck: Yers from It'ly?
Enrico Nom: You bet, me an me bruddahs, all I-talian. We's got awards an' tings for candy makin' from da king of Italy, even.
Poopdeck: Is yer brudders as big as you?
Enrico Nom: Naw, I's da biggest....cause I lifts the machinery an da crates, an' all dat.
Poopdeck: I bets it takes a strongish man ter lifks alla dat stuffk
Poopdeck: Garshk. Mebbe I oughter tries some wen iss ready
Enrico Nom: Yer sure should! Da first batch all back-ordered for da circus, though.
Enrico Nom: Ya might have ta visit da circus to gets yer some, at least for the first bit.
Poopdeck: I's goner be tha stonk man at tha circisk
Enrico Nom: Well, dere ya go den, you'll have plenty a chance.
Enrico Nom: Prolly even get it for free from yer boss.
Poopdeck: I'll prolly gits sum fer pay!
Poopdeck: Yer aint putin nuttin funny inyer candies is ya?
Enrico Nom: Funny? Naw, it's all-natural, sugar an' flavorin's mostly.
Enrico Nom: Da secret ingredients ain't all dat secret, just like when y'add a bit a one flavor t'spice anudder, an all dat.
Poopdeck: Does yer gots enny wots lime flavvered?
Enrico Nom: Well, me bruddah, Tony, he do all the flavorings. I'll ask him next time I sees him.
Poopdeck: I likes lime on accounta issa same color as spinnich
Poopdeck: laughs
Enrico Nom: >nods< Well, I know some uv da candy is green.
Enrico Nom: So yer probly in luck.
Poopdeck: Link mink or epple?
Enrico Nom: I don't think it's mink...er, mint, cause Tony, he don't like mint.
Poopdeck: laughs
Enrico Nom: Could be apple, er maybe lime.
Poopdeck: I sposes if he didink likes it.. He wouldink has no fun makerin it.
Enrico Nom: Dat's true, cause he gots to taste it. Hoo, an sometimes you should see da look on 'is face when it turn out wrong! Haw!
Poopdeck: laughs
Poopdeck Halfpint thinks maybe he'll sit here a spell and wait for the place to open
Enrico Nom: ((It'll still be awhile, by the way...like days....))
Enrico Nom: I figger I can take a break for a bit.
Enrico Nom: Since all da machinery workin' fine.
Enrico Nom: It's catchin' up on all da candies.
Enrico Nom: Yeah, I jus' got da boxin' machine all put togethers.
Poopdeck: It shore lookeres likes iss workin purty good
Poopdeck: Looks likes iss goner be swell
Enrico Nom: Dat circus guy, he sure order a lot for a little guy.
Poopdeck: Mebbe he's got mouts ter feed
Enrico Nom: Yeah, mus' be expectin' folks ta visit 'is circus, or sumpin'. >guffaws<
Poopdeck: laughs
Poodeck tries to sit on the steps but ends up climbing up on Enrico
Poopdeck: Sorries abouk that!
Enrico Nom: Nuffin' to worry about. I gots to wash dis here suit every day, anyways.
Poopdeck: On accounta it gets all stickyishk from tha suggar?
Enrico Nom: Yeah, an da ingredients...dem flavorin's all...boiled down an dey gots strong colors.
Poopdeck: Yer suit looks plenny clean ter me rite now
Enrico Nom: Well, today, I just been puttin' together machinery, an' dey's all brand new.
Poopdeck: Aint got no dirty erl on 'em yet, eh?
Enrico Nom: Naw, just a bit a da machine oil , ter keep da rust off 'em in shippin. But I wipe 'em all down careful after I take 'em out da boxes.
Enrico Nom: Ain't like when I used to work meat packin'.
Poopdeck: I sposes thet kin kinder greasky and bluddishk
Poopdeck: Well dont lets me me keeps yer
Enrico Nom: Yeah, I gotta get back to it...still need some counters an' sinks an' the like.
Poopdeck: It wuz swell meeterin yer!
Enrico Nom: You too. Good luck with dat circus job.
Poopdeck: T'anks misker... ?
Enrico Nom: Oh, I never said...I's Rico...Rico Nom.

Mermaids!

Poopdeck gets some sailin in!

I sailed out ter Antikikky a whiles back an' got thar jusk in time ter feask me peeper on some swell naval bakkles!
At firsk I was jusk watcherin' from tha docks, and was haverin' a good ol' time observerin' them bee-yoo-teeusk tall shipks shootin' at eaches other and sinkin'! Arf Arf Arf!

Soon enuffk, tho, one-a-da sea pea-rat cappings aksked me if'n I wanted ter man the guns! AkAkAkAkAk!
So's I climbered aboard an' commensked ter blowin' away the opperzishing!
Afkerwards, one a tha nice pea-rat ladies gived me a inner toob an' we floatered aroun' fer a whiles talkerin' about ther salty airs, pellykings, an' octerpussies!
An I didink even has one sipper wiskikky or rum!
Arf Arf Arf!

Poopdeck tries to visit the Abney Park Lab

After hearing of a newborn in New Babbage, Poopdeck Halfpint finds himself at the door of the Abney Park Laboratory of Professor Nareth Nishi.
But the door is closed and barred due to a radiation leak, This, however, does not prevent him from trying to see the baby...
Poopdeck hollers at the door...
Poopdeck: ahoy! I heerd thar was a infink here!
Nareth Nishi: Hello?
Poopdeck: Hello!
Nareth Nishi: Hello.
Nareth Nishi: Young man.... Behind you.
(Professsor Nishi appears behind the young lad.)
Poopdeck: Howd you do that lady?
Nareth Nishi: How did I do what?
Poopdeck: Get out sides like thet
Nareth Nishi: Well...I used the back door.
Poopdeck: Got any veggibles, lady?
Nareth Nishi: No, I do not have any vegatables.
Poopdeck: Got any bananners?
Nareth Nishi: No, no bananas, either.
Poopdeck: any wiskikky?
Nareth Nishi: Ah, now I might be able to help you there.
Poopdeck Halfpint smiles
Nareth Nishi: One moment.... Will vodka do?
Poopdeck: Vokka's good!
Nareth gives Poopdeck some Vodka
Poopdeck: Tanks lady
Nareth Nishi: You are quite welcome.
Poopdeck: I heerd you gots a infink inside dare? Kin I see im?
Nareth Nishi: Elenore is asleep just now.
Poopdeck: Oh - I doesnink wanna wakes 'er then
Nareth Nishi: No, we don't. She needs her rest. Is it really wise for one so young to smoke a pipe?
Poopdeck: I bin smokin a pipe all me long life
Nareth Nishi: Well..I suppose you may as well continue. I must get back to my work, but, take care.
Poopdeck: Okay. Tanks lady

"Bullies is da Bunk"

I doesink likes bullies muchk. Espeshkally afker gittin beat up by a bunches of 'em wot was three times me size over in da skatering rink in Baggage Canals. Day needs ter learns sum manners. I losk one o' me peepers in da battle. It was da mosk ar'ful battle o' me whole life. So's I wen out an foun a ol' ladder an a buckick o' paint, and sneaked out inna middle o' da night an prettied up da bully's placek! ARF! ARF! ARF!

Poopdeck and Santa

So's I visicked Sanny Cloz over in Calerdonk an tole 'em I'd be a good lil shaver
an wouldink takes no more pennies from peeple's pockicks if'n 'e cud fine
it innis 'art ter bring me some freshk terbacky an veggibles, an I alsos aksked 'im
ter bring some new shoeses widdout holes innim fer some a da yungins in New Baggage
wot gots holes in dares.