Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Poopdeck tries to visit the Abney Park Lab

After hearing of a newborn in New Babbage, Poopdeck Halfpint finds himself at the door of the Abney Park Laboratory of Professor Nareth Nishi.
But the door is closed and barred due to a radiation leak, This, however, does not prevent him from trying to see the baby...
Poopdeck hollers at the door...

Poopdeck: ahoy! I heerd thar was a infink here!
Nareth Nishi: Hello?
Poopdeck: Hello!
Nareth Nishi: Hello.
Nareth Nishi: Young man.... Behind you.
(Professsor Nishi appears behind the young lad.)
Poopdeck: Howd you do that lady?
Nareth Nishi: How did I do what?
Poopdeck: Get out sides like thet
Nareth Nishi: Well...I used the back door.
Poopdeck: Got any veggibles, lady?
Nareth Nishi: No, I do not have any vegatables.
Poopdeck: Got any bananners?
Nareth Nishi: No, no bananas, either.
Poopdeck: any wiskikky?
Nareth Nishi: Ah, now I might be able to help you there.
Poopdeck Halfpint smiles
Nareth Nishi: One moment.... Will vodka do?
Poopdeck: Vokka's good!
Nareth gives Poopdeck some Vodka
Poopdeck: Tanks lady
Nareth Nishi: You are quite welcome.
Poopdeck: I heerd you gots a infink inside dare? Kin I see im?
Nareth Nishi: Elenore is asleep just now.
Poopdeck: Oh - I doesnink wanna wakes 'er then
Nareth Nishi: No, we don't. She needs her rest. Is it really wise for one so young to smoke a pipe?
Poopdeck: I bin smokin a pipe all me long life
Nareth Nishi: Well..I suppose you may as well continue. I must get back to my work, but, take care.
Poopdeck: Okay. Tanks lady

Thursday, December 6, 2007

"Bullies is da Bunk"

I doesink likes bullies muchk. Espeshkally afker gittin beat up by a bunches of 'em wot was three times me size over in da skatering rink in Baggage Canals. Day needs ter learns sum manners. I losk one o' me peepers in da battle. It was da mosk ar'ful battle o' me whole life. So's I wen out an foun a ol' ladder an a buckick o' paint, and sneaked out inna middle o' da night an prettied up da bully's placek! ARF! ARF! ARF!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Poopdeck and Santa

So's I visicked Sanny Cloz over in Calerdonk an tole 'em I'd be a good lil shaver
an wouldink takes no more pennies from peeple's pockicks if'n 'e cud fine
it innis 'art ter bring me some freshk terbacky an veggibles, an I alsos aksked 'im
ter bring some new shoeses widdout holes innim fer some a da yungins in New Baggage
wot gots holes in dares.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Poopdeck and Sir Arthur

Poopdeck sees Sir Arthur on his balcony and joins him...
Poopdeck: Hi misker
ArthurConan Doyle: Hello
Poopdeck: watch doin misker?
ArthurConan Doyle: I am trying to fly but cannot.
Sir Arthur crashes
Poopdeck: Ouch! - you okay misker?
ArthurConan Doyle: Just a little shaken. Where are you?
Poopdeck: on da balkinny
ArthurConan Doyle: I did not see that you were beside me. I thought you were down here.
Poopdeck: I wuz den I camed up
ArthurConan Doyle: I must be blind not to see someone next to me.
Poopdeck: well - I is kinda shork
ArthurConan Doyle: That is true.
Poopdeck: an yer kina ol' - maybe yer eys is bad
ArthurConan Doyle: I am qute old. -How old are you, I am 60.
Poopdeck: oller than a tree?
ArthurConan Doyle: No, they are older than me (some of them)
Poopdeck: I seena ol' whale oncek
ArthurConan Doyle: Miss Capalini tells me that I am to not give you any liquor.
Poopdeck: How comes? - You sed I could has all i wantinged
ArthurConan Doyle: She says that it is bad for you. It will stop your growth.
Poopdeck: But I eats me veggibles proper
ArthurConan Doyle: It is hard not to obey Miss Capalini
Poopdeck: I don't tink so - I kin disobey her real good
ArthurConan Doyle: Well you are a braver man than me!
Poopdeck: An the docter in da port said I could has likker for mediskinal purposkes
ArthurConan Doyle: Was he sober at the time?
Poopdeck: He was stil stannin up
ArthurConan Doyle: That is not necessarily a reliable indicator.
Poopdeck: He speeaked okay - like me
ArthurConan Doyle: I was wondering if you could read?
Poopdeck: wots redin?
ArthurConan Doyle: Well, it is like getting information from a book
Poopdeck: like pitchers? - of fishk an suchk?
ArthurConan Doyle: No the stuff next to the pictures.
Poopdeck: Oh! The letterers
ArthurConan Doyle: Yes.
Poopdeck: I kin counk letterers
ArthurConan Doyle: Can you read them?
Poopdeck: wot for?
ArthurConan Doyle: For joy.
Poopdeck: I gits joy watchin the fishkes - an the mermaids
ArthurConan Doyle: Yes, but one cannot have too much joy.
Poopdeck: I agrees
ArthurConan Doyle: Try this...
ArthurConan Doyle gives Poopdeck Oliver Twist Ch. 1.
ArthurConan Doyle: Can you read that?
Poopdeck: Oliver Twisk?
ArthurConan Doyle: It is about a small boy who had no money.
Poopdeck: I heerd of it
ArthurConan Doyle: If you like the first chapter I will give you another.
Poopdeck: ... da.... pairishk boys progressk... - kin I reads it after I has sum wiskikky?
ArthurConan Doyle: You can read. That is a good thing
Poopdeck: Dat's juss lookin at da werds
ArthurConan Doyle: No whisky, I am afraid. I fear Miss Capalini.
Poopdeck: I didink noed it was called readin
ArthurConan Doyle: Now you know.
Poopdeck: well tanks misker
ArthurConan Doyle: You are most welcome.
Poopdeck: what abouk pipin - kin i still smokes me pipe?
ArthurConan Doyle: As long as Miss Capalini does not catch you.
Poopdeck: I foun it in a corner at Misker Monondran's place
ArthurConan Doyle: Nasty habit, and difficult to quit.
Poopdeck: I bin smokin sincek I wuz bornded
ArthurConan Doyle: Where do you get the tobbacco?
Poopdeck: I foun sum inna cabby-net in misker Monondran's place
ArthurConan Doyle: I see. Well that is cheap enough I suppose. - So, what do you have planned for today?
Poopdeck: nuffin muchk - Misker monondran called it ill-iss-kit terbackky
ArthurConan Doyle: Wow. Does that make it better?
Poopdeck: It makes me head feel likesits done got mermaids innit
ArthurConan Doyle: Sounds a bit fishy to me.
Poopdeck: It doesink smells fishy
ArthurConan Doyle: It smells fishy from here.
Poodeck takes a step back from Sir Arthur
Poopdeck: Dat better?
ArthurConan Doyle: A bit, yes. Have you always lived in Babbage?
Poopdeck: No. I only juss comed here
ArthurConan Doyle: Where were you before coming to Babbage?
Poopdeck: I growed up in Sweethaving with me Pappy
ArthurConan Doyle: Sweethaven? I have not heard of it.
Poopdeck: It's onna coask somewheres in New Ingling - on the Lantic Oshing
ArthurConan Doyle: Why did you come to Babbage?
Poopdeck: I washked up onna shore by the lite housk after some mean ol' ugly hag sinked me Pappy's boak
ArthurConan Doyle: Where is you father?
Poopdeck: I tink he's gone ter the botting o da drink wit Davey Jones
ArthurConan Doyle: Ah, I am sorry for your loss.
Poopdeck Halfpint sniffs
ArthurConan Doyle: I was dead once, but then I woke up here.
Poopdeck: You was ded?
ArthurConan Doyle: Yes, I died in 1930.
Poopdeck: Holey smakokies!
ArthurConan Doyle: When I woke up here, I had lost most of my memory, but I am slowly regaining it.
Poopdeck: Dats good den misker. Maybe me Pap will washk up somewheres too
ArthurConan Doyle: You never know. It could happen. Or he could have gone to heaven.
Poopdeck: Or da udder place
ArthurConan Doyle: Other place? Oh you mean Caledon?
Poopdeck: Yeah - the place wit deemings an fire
ArthurConan Doyle: Yes, I believe they call it Caledon. Have you been skating?
Poopdeck: Yess - I has! Missus Spaghetti tooked me
ArthurConan Doyle: Did you enjoy it?
Poopdeck: It was lotsk o fun
ArthurConan Doyle: Excellent.
Poopdeck: Does ya got any books abouk whales?
ArthurConan Doyle: I think I could find one if you like. I will try to have it next time we meet.
Poopdeck: Garsk! Tanks Misker
ArthurConan Doyle: You are most welcome sir.
Poopdeck: So if'n ya evers go out to sea - be carefuls of the ol' hag. She plays a flute - thats how ya kin noes she's a-comin.
You doant wanna be heerin dat flute neither.
ArthurConan Doyle: I will do that. Actually I am looking for a ship.
Poopdeck: I's lookin fer a boak too!
ArthurConan Doyle: Do you want to go to sea again?
Poopdeck: Sure I does! I's gonner be the bestest sailor i alla world one day! arf arf arf!
ArthurConan Doyle: Really? I hope you find a ship that you like.
Poopdeck: I spose I will sumtime. I kin haul in a ankker wif me teefks
ArthurConan Doyle: I went to sea when I was young. It was very hard work and dangereous.
Poopdeck: I aint askeerd o danger or hard work. I bin on boaks all me long life
ArthurConan Doyle: How long has your life been?
Poopdeck: I bin aroun a hole deck ade
ArthurConan Doyle: That seems about right for a deck hand.
Poopdeck: Me Pappy used ter ship out on the ol Maryanne afore I was bornded
ArthurConan Doyle: What did she carry?
Poopdeck: She carried frukes, and veggibles an hams and terbackky an whores an coffee an cuspidoons and boxes o weet and horskes
ArthurConan Doyle: Was it a sailing ship or a steamer?
Poopdeck: She was a sailin ship alright!
ArthurConan Doyle: A schooner?
Poopdeck: aye I think she wuz. Until she went down on acounta da ghosks o da seas
Me Pappy and a bunch o his mates survideded. but the storeis he tole would curl yer nickkers
ArthurConan Doyle: How many masts were on your schooner?
Poopdeck: The Maryanne had for masks - but that wuz afore me time
ArthurConan Doyle: How many in your time?
Poopdeck: Me pappy's ship was a steamer - we fished fer tuner - the one the hag sinked
ArthurConan Doyle: Oh, I thought it was a schooner?
Poopdeck: The Maryanne wuz
ArthurConan Doyle: I see.
ArthurConan Doyle: Well, it has been great chatting with you, Have a great day.
Poopdeck: you too misker